Lessons I Learned Leading Young People in the Church

There’s a special kind of challenge that comes with leading young people in the church. It’s never just about organizing meetings or ticking off attendance. It’s about understanding lives in transition, faith that sometimes wobbles, and dreams fighting to grow in rocky ground. I’ve seen it up close and some of the lessons I’ve learned are shared in my book, Hello Mr. Chairman. Because, honestly, the biggest shifts in leadership don’t happen at the front. They happen in the moments between the noise, when you’re real with the people you’re guiding.

One of the first lessons I learned is that authenticity matters more than authority. Young people can spot what’s real from a mile away. In Hello Mr. Chairman, I share how some of the most powerful youth moments didn’t come from grand speeches, but from honest stories. In sharing when I’d failed, laughed at myself, or just sat and listened. As Paul reminds us in 1 Corinthians 11:1, “Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ.” Leadership isn’t about always having the answers—it’s about letting people see your journey, your scars, and your hope.

Another thing I learned—sometimes the hard way—is that patience is not optional. Youth work is a test of endurance. There are times when events go wrong, attendance drops, or enthusiasm fades. In Hello Mr. Chairman, I talk about that youth camp where almost nothing went right—the late bus, the missing food, the tired faces. Yet, in that chaos, patience grew. Bill Hybels, in Courageous Leadership, puts it simply: “Great leadership is built on great endurance.” And as Galatians 6:9 encourages us, “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” Sometimes, as a leader, one is called to hold the line even when one feels like letting go.

A lesson that changed everything for me was the power of delegation and empowerment. Early on, I thought I needed to do it all myself, to get everything perfect. But the real magic happens when you let others lead, even when they stumble. In Hello Mr. Chairman, there’s a whole chapter on letting go and trusting the youth to run programs, pray, and solve problems in their own way. Craig Groeschel, in Lead Like It Matters, reminds us, “You can have control or you can have growth, but you can’t have both.” True leadership isn’t about holding tightly—it’s about multiplying yourself through others.

And I’ve come to see that faith in action beats theory every time. Youth ministry is messy and unpredictable. There are moments when advice doesn’t work but just being present or praying together. Even helping someone through a tough week speaks louder than any sermon. Oswald Sanders, in Spiritual Leadership, says, “True leadership is found in giving yourself in service to others.” It’s not about having all the words—it’s about walking with people in real life.

Finally, if I could sum up these lessons for anyone stepping into youth leadership, it would be that they should be authentic and let ones life be their loudest sermon. Be patient, because growth is slow and often unseen. Empower others—leadership multiplies when you share it. And above all, never forget that every step, every small victory, and every setback is part of a bigger journey that God is writing.

If you want to dig deeper into these stories and lessons, grab a copy of Hello Mr. Chairman, or explore works by Maxwell, Hybels, Groeschel, Sanders, and Stanley. These books are full of wisdom. Some of the best lessons are found right in the lives of the young people that the leader leads.